I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
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I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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