alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I had to cum in my sink.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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