Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
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It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
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He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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