you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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