Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we made out on top of his cat.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize