Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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