you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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