i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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