I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
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coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
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When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I believe in your delicious
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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