Sponge bath it is.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
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you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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