mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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