I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize