new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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