theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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