I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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