good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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