are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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