i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize