I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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