Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize