The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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