Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
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just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
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I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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