Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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