Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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