WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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