she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize