I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
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Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
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Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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