What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
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So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
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We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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