So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
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Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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