Your dad touched me again.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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