I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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