I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize