i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
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I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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