tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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