Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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