I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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