my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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