I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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