u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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