She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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