i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
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Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
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I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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