Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize