I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Two words: blizzard sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm like, not good at living.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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