Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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