Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
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And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
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No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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