you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
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Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We just shotgunned beers for America
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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