I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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