my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize