I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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