Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize